my new dress :)

:)

Cry baby!!

im currently crying over nothing...NOTHING!! im such a freak. think its time to call the doctors :/
:(

em xoxo

Scales.

i really hope my scales are wrong or broken..i weigh myself once a week and if the scales are correct today i've put on 2lb! ;( i want to cry! ive done so well this week aswell..i really dont know why i haven't lost :(


em xoxo

this is me.

Ok so this is my first blog,

i haven't wrote how i feel in a really long time and feel now is the time to do so. 

so here goes nothing! 

i am a member of PT(prettythin.com) and i totally love it there,that site means so much to me

i love the girls/guys on there,they are so supportive and they understand me..well i hope they do anyways!

i joined that site because i have nobody i can talk to,nobody who understands how i feel,nobody to tell me everything is going to be OK,i feel as though i can be myself on that site and i have made some good friends,the media get it all wrong about ED sites,they think its some place people go to to get tips and tricks on how to purge or lose weight,PT isn't like that. 

Ive had a problem with food since i was 15,i was at high school,140lb and 5ft7-healthy weight and i got bullied because of the way i looked,i had terrible teeth,but i got braces.I still got bullied.I didn't go to school for most of that year and i failed my exams because i didn't do the coursework because i didn't t turn up. 

i studied beauty therapy at college and i passed,i actually achieved something!! then i met my first boyfriend,

i confided in him about my problem with food and he turned nasty and started calling me fat,ugly,selfish like the bullies did at school.this made my problem worse and i started self harming. this carried on for 2 years till my dad discovered the cuts on my arms, he took me to the doctors and got me put on anti-depressants. 2 years have passed and im still no better ive been to eating classes,counsellers, im a mess,but i have a wonderful boyfriend but i cant talk to him about any of this,my family think im bettter,but im not.my head is mashed!  im now 119lb 5ft10 with a bmi of 17.2. so thats just a little bit about me and my past. needed to get my feelings out in the open really.

Em xoxo