OK guys i havent posted for about 5 months,things have been getting too much to handle recently and felt i should vent by typing how i feel on here.
here goes...
Im currently at my lowest weight and i dont feel any happier AT ALL. my depression is back and haunting me,i self harmed for the first time in a year last night,i cant look at myself in the mirror or i start crying.I start to wonder what i looked like to people when i was a stone heavier,a fat ugly girl.i so want to be normal,but i cant bring myself to try to "recover" again. My doctor will not give me anti depressants anymore because she says i will abuse them :( i need them so badly to stop these awful thoughts and feelings.
my BMI is 17.2. but to me that means nothing.still fat.
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